Today, after completing a delivery at a convenient store, I grabbed my hand-cart and prepared to leave. However, as I approached the door, a trio of friends were having a detailed conversation. I patiently waited a moment or two, but after failing to see them acknowledge me (or anyone else) wishing to access the door, I firmly but politely chirped, "Excuse me, please."
The cluster of companions still were too engrossed in their conversation, so I called out a little louder. This time, they looked at me, and moved themselves-- RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORS in a straight line, so nobody could exit, or enter from the outside. Smooth move, Ex-lax.
I'm guessing they never learned what peripheral vision meant...
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Dick Cheney, I presume?
Our local arts and entertainment weekly, "The Weekender," has published yet another odd Q & A feature... This week's poll question: "What are you superstitious about?"
Henry Rembish, 32, answered: " The shirt I accidentally shot my friend in. It hangs in the back of my closet but I won't wear it."
Adding much more clarity to this blurred picture is Chris Varzaly, 32, showing off a nasty scar right below his collarbone: "...Getting shot by guys in funny shirts."
With friends like this, who needs gun control?
Henry Rembish, 32, answered: " The shirt I accidentally shot my friend in. It hangs in the back of my closet but I won't wear it."
Adding much more clarity to this blurred picture is Chris Varzaly, 32, showing off a nasty scar right below his collarbone: "...Getting shot by guys in funny shirts."
With friends like this, who needs gun control?
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Brain freeze
Due to a major snowstorm that hit Northeastern PA (17" on average) on Wednesday, my company needed to revamp our delivery schedule for the rest of the week.
Yesterday, (Sat.) I was preparing to deliver to a small store that has a history of money problems. Rather than have the order refused because they weren't able to pay, I took the invoice in first to see if they could foot the bill. The store owner met me with angry disbelief. "Why are you guys here today, instead of last Wednesday?" he demanded.
I stared at him, stunned at the obvious lack of intelligence in his question. I couldn't think of anything outside of the realm of sarcasm to say, so, with a deliberate tone, I dripped, "...Because the roads were covered with 17" of snow and the governor declared a state of emergency!"
I don't know if he was surprised by what I said, or if he thought I would sheepishly shrink back. After a brief pause, all he could do was meekly chirp, "...Oh..."
12:00! Time for your lobotomy!
Yesterday, (Sat.) I was preparing to deliver to a small store that has a history of money problems. Rather than have the order refused because they weren't able to pay, I took the invoice in first to see if they could foot the bill. The store owner met me with angry disbelief. "Why are you guys here today, instead of last Wednesday?" he demanded.
I stared at him, stunned at the obvious lack of intelligence in his question. I couldn't think of anything outside of the realm of sarcasm to say, so, with a deliberate tone, I dripped, "...Because the roads were covered with 17" of snow and the governor declared a state of emergency!"
I don't know if he was surprised by what I said, or if he thought I would sheepishly shrink back. After a brief pause, all he could do was meekly chirp, "...Oh..."
12:00! Time for your lobotomy!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Naive is your middle name
How I love getting comments from anonymous folks. Especially when they fit right into the format of this blog...
A mystery commentator left a response to my posting from 1/31 entitled "Reality Check." It was a story of a young mother who left her young children in a car on the side of a busy highway in order to go dancing inside a club, and was consequently arrested. The boys were scantily clad in shorts and T-shirts on a night where temps dropped below 50. A sad story indeed. However, what's even more alarming is what Mr. (or Ms.) Ambiguous had to say about it. Anonymous said: While I am sure that most of this story is true. I am sure that the reporter left out the fact that the boys had blankets or jackets. No one could sleep in shorts and t-shirts in those tempatures...the media really pisses me off!!!!!This woman should definately be punished, however, I'm sick of the media blowing everything out of proportion!!!!
You're joking, right? You actually believe this woman, who had her head so far up her butt that she could see her liver was thoughtful enough to provide the boys with blankets? Here's a chick so self-centered that she put a night out ahead of the welfare of her kids, and you think the news exaggerated? Come on now, get real. ...Come to think of it, perhaps were you there with her?
(BTW, "tempatures"??? Hukt on fonix may werk fer ewe two!)
If you believe that the media lied, then I'd like to tell you more about "Bat-boy" and the alien who has befriended Hillary Clinton.
A mystery commentator left a response to my posting from 1/31 entitled "Reality Check." It was a story of a young mother who left her young children in a car on the side of a busy highway in order to go dancing inside a club, and was consequently arrested. The boys were scantily clad in shorts and T-shirts on a night where temps dropped below 50. A sad story indeed. However, what's even more alarming is what Mr. (or Ms.) Ambiguous had to say about it. Anonymous said: While I am sure that most of this story is true. I am sure that the reporter left out the fact that the boys had blankets or jackets. No one could sleep in shorts and t-shirts in those tempatures...the media really pisses me off!!!!!This woman should definately be punished, however, I'm sick of the media blowing everything out of proportion!!!!
You're joking, right? You actually believe this woman, who had her head so far up her butt that she could see her liver was thoughtful enough to provide the boys with blankets? Here's a chick so self-centered that she put a night out ahead of the welfare of her kids, and you think the news exaggerated? Come on now, get real. ...Come to think of it, perhaps were you there with her?
(BTW, "tempatures"??? Hukt on fonix may werk fer ewe two!)
If you believe that the media lied, then I'd like to tell you more about "Bat-boy" and the alien who has befriended Hillary Clinton.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Snow, sleet and freezing panic
Living in Northeastern PA means that from time to time we get snow. Not a new concept! However, it never ceases to amaze me how a little white stuff creates absolute mayhem, frenzy and general unpreparedness.
Our local news stations started predicting a major snow storm to hit us today three days ago, yet the streets were relatively calm and quiet, until today...
Snow flurries began around 2:15. Immediately-- but not prior to this point-- the entire region mobilized!
The lines for bread, milk and eggs at area grocery stores clogged every aisle. Traffic increased 5 times as everyone, motivated by incomparable fear, rushed out to secure their goods. ...And then had the audacity to be surprised when supermarket shelves grew bare!
As I delivered product to an area convenient store, a man DASHED (literally) into the store and exclaimed with a huge, loud sigh of relief, "Oh, thank GOD you have hamburger buns! All the other stores are completely out. Can you believe it???"
(You know, bud, the stores had plenty of buns Sunday. And Monday. Why didn't you go out and get them then?)
Hey, man, you're so on top of things. Have you considered a career as an emergency response operator?
Our local news stations started predicting a major snow storm to hit us today three days ago, yet the streets were relatively calm and quiet, until today...
Snow flurries began around 2:15. Immediately-- but not prior to this point-- the entire region mobilized!
The lines for bread, milk and eggs at area grocery stores clogged every aisle. Traffic increased 5 times as everyone, motivated by incomparable fear, rushed out to secure their goods. ...And then had the audacity to be surprised when supermarket shelves grew bare!
As I delivered product to an area convenient store, a man DASHED (literally) into the store and exclaimed with a huge, loud sigh of relief, "Oh, thank GOD you have hamburger buns! All the other stores are completely out. Can you believe it???"
(You know, bud, the stores had plenty of buns Sunday. And Monday. Why didn't you go out and get them then?)
Hey, man, you're so on top of things. Have you considered a career as an emergency response operator?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The sweet that broke the camel's tooth
Something in this story from the AP just doesn't add up... Woman breaks tooth, wants town to pay (AP) ABINGTON, Mass. - Trying to get something done at town hall can be a pain, one local woman says for her it was literally. Joanne Harding broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll-- Hold the phone! Broke her tooth on a TOOTSIE ROLL???
--broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll she took from a candy jar in the town clerk's office in Abington Town Hall last month during a visit to get a license for her dog.
Now, Harding wants the town to help pay her $4,000-$5,000 dental bill.
"I took the candy, so it's partially my fault," the 40-year-old Harding told the Patriot Ledger of Quincy. "I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there."
Town Manager Phillip Warren Jr. forwarded Harding's request for financial assistance to the town's insurance carrier.
"We'll wait to see what the insurance company says," he said.
Meanwhile, the candy jars are still there at the clerk's office.
Lots wrong with this little epic! First, $5000 for one tooth? What were they made out of, platinum??? Granted, I don't know much about the state of economics and medicine in New England, but...
Second, "It's partially my fault. I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there"? What, did someone at the clerk's office MAKE you take a candy? I can see it now-- "Sorry, you can't be attended to until you have taken a candy from the jar!" Incredible. You have the audacity to admit fault, yet you want to hold the town a monetary hostage for YOUR mistake?
Third, broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll? Just how long was that little treat sitting in that jar? Was it from 1997??
Lastly, and most incredulously-- if that's a proper phrase-- The jars are still at the office? That's smart. Now that everybody knows about this queer happenstance, open yourself up to more financial attacks by would-be gainers! No wonder taxes across the New England region are so high!
Another group of people helplessly sucked into the inescapable vortex of stupidity...
Since stupidity apparently knows no bounds, "PSST" will be renamed and retooled after the fifth presentation of the STUPIES! We'll be covering more things like this chickie-boo in MA and other asinine things people do that set them apart as... er, extremely stupid. Stay tuned!
--broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll she took from a candy jar in the town clerk's office in Abington Town Hall last month during a visit to get a license for her dog.
Now, Harding wants the town to help pay her $4,000-$5,000 dental bill.
"I took the candy, so it's partially my fault," the 40-year-old Harding told the Patriot Ledger of Quincy. "I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there."
Town Manager Phillip Warren Jr. forwarded Harding's request for financial assistance to the town's insurance carrier.
"We'll wait to see what the insurance company says," he said.
Meanwhile, the candy jars are still there at the clerk's office.
Lots wrong with this little epic! First, $5000 for one tooth? What were they made out of, platinum??? Granted, I don't know much about the state of economics and medicine in New England, but...
Second, "It's partially my fault. I wouldn't have taken it if it wasn't there"? What, did someone at the clerk's office MAKE you take a candy? I can see it now-- "Sorry, you can't be attended to until you have taken a candy from the jar!" Incredible. You have the audacity to admit fault, yet you want to hold the town a monetary hostage for YOUR mistake?
Third, broke a tooth on a Tootsie Roll? Just how long was that little treat sitting in that jar? Was it from 1997??
Lastly, and most incredulously-- if that's a proper phrase-- The jars are still at the office? That's smart. Now that everybody knows about this queer happenstance, open yourself up to more financial attacks by would-be gainers! No wonder taxes across the New England region are so high!
Another group of people helplessly sucked into the inescapable vortex of stupidity...
Since stupidity apparently knows no bounds, "PSST" will be renamed and retooled after the fifth presentation of the STUPIES! We'll be covering more things like this chickie-boo in MA and other asinine things people do that set them apart as... er, extremely stupid. Stay tuned!
Friday, February 09, 2007
Time for another "Just Shut Up"
This most recent awarding-- yes, this is not just a nomination, but an actual presentation-- of a supplemental "Just Shut Up" STUPIE goes to every single newspaper, radio station, TV station and tabloid in America for continually bombarding the public with the droning noise of Anna Nicole Smith's death. Everywhere you turn, there's her face, her bio, her career, her twisted paternal issues... I don't mean to sound cold or uncaring, but is anyone really surprised? Nothing in this gal's life made sense. Her existence lacked any semblance of rhyme or reason. (Now, I grant you that some things were out of her control, but most of it she brought upon herself.)
For those of us who are "normal" and striving to make our lives better on a daily basis, we find this constant blather just plain irritating. Anna lived a tragic life and died a tragic death. End of story.
Please, members of the media world, do us a favor and...
JUST SHUT UP!!!
For those of us who are "normal" and striving to make our lives better on a daily basis, we find this constant blather just plain irritating. Anna lived a tragic life and died a tragic death. End of story.
Please, members of the media world, do us a favor and...
JUST SHUT UP!!!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Obviously wasn't a girl scout
The girl scout's motto is "Be Prepared," hence setting up today's sad and tragic tale.
ABC News obtained copies of some of the 911 calls that victims of the sudden tornado in Central Florida made, shortly after the vortex ripped apart their fair community. I couldn't believe what I heard, as ABC played the tape of a frantic, terrified (older) girl calling in to the emergency response center.
VICTIM: I... I think my mom is dead!!!
OPERATOR: Is anyone hurt?
V: My mom! My mom is gone and my mom's bed is gone! Oh, my God!
O: Is your mom there?
For Pete's sake, did you listen to a single word this poor gal just said? You want to help? Stop asking useless questions, admit to your superiors that you are NOT prepared to handle emergency situations and get more training! Isn't it enough that this gal just experienced the horror of her house being ripped to shreds by a tornado without you traumatizing her with stupid questions???
ABC News obtained copies of some of the 911 calls that victims of the sudden tornado in Central Florida made, shortly after the vortex ripped apart their fair community. I couldn't believe what I heard, as ABC played the tape of a frantic, terrified (older) girl calling in to the emergency response center.
VICTIM: I... I think my mom is dead!!!
OPERATOR: Is anyone hurt?
V: My mom! My mom is gone and my mom's bed is gone! Oh, my God!
O: Is your mom there?
For Pete's sake, did you listen to a single word this poor gal just said? You want to help? Stop asking useless questions, admit to your superiors that you are NOT prepared to handle emergency situations and get more training! Isn't it enough that this gal just experienced the horror of her house being ripped to shreds by a tornado without you traumatizing her with stupid questions???
Saturday, February 03, 2007
The dung stops here
The city of Scranton, PA has a law that pet owners must clean up all their pets' waste when taking the little beasties on a walk. However, this is seldom paid attention to, or enforced for that matter.
When the doody problem got a bit out-of-hand in a certain community, a couple of furious residents took matters into their own hands, posting home-made messages to would-be violators. The crude placards were captured on film and the picture posted in The Weekender, the area's local arts and entertainment weekly. Sign one read:
To the low-life scum who thinks it's OK to let their animals urinate and defecate on the lawn and sidewalk of an 80-year-old woman:
1) I have 2 adult German shepherds.
2) I will catch you.
3) You will reap what you have sown.
4) I live at ********, come and get it.
5) See the message your Penn St. neighbors left you."
The neighbors added:
To the inconsiderate nasty person who keeps allowing their DOG to trespass and CRAP on these lawns and does not CLEAN IT UP-- BE WARNED-- The police are being notified that you are BREAKING THE LAW! Let your dog stink up your own property, you lazy ignorant JERK.
Signed, the neighbors.
Yeah, it stinks (no pun intended) to continually clean up animal feces from your property, but "You will reap what you sow, come and get it"??? What, is Ethel going to defecate all over the violator's home? It also wasn't too bright of dear old granny to advertise her age, and then her address. I hope those to German shepherds are good watch dogs, ready to scare would-be burglars away.
I don't ever think I've seen waste divide a community as much as this one. ...Brings a whole new meaning to the term anal-retentive!
When the doody problem got a bit out-of-hand in a certain community, a couple of furious residents took matters into their own hands, posting home-made messages to would-be violators. The crude placards were captured on film and the picture posted in The Weekender, the area's local arts and entertainment weekly. Sign one read:
To the low-life scum who thinks it's OK to let their animals urinate and defecate on the lawn and sidewalk of an 80-year-old woman:
1) I have 2 adult German shepherds.
2) I will catch you.
3) You will reap what you have sown.
4) I live at ********, come and get it.
5) See the message your Penn St. neighbors left you."
The neighbors added:
To the inconsiderate nasty person who keeps allowing their DOG to trespass and CRAP on these lawns and does not CLEAN IT UP-- BE WARNED-- The police are being notified that you are BREAKING THE LAW! Let your dog stink up your own property, you lazy ignorant JERK.
Signed, the neighbors.
Yeah, it stinks (no pun intended) to continually clean up animal feces from your property, but "You will reap what you sow, come and get it"??? What, is Ethel going to defecate all over the violator's home? It also wasn't too bright of dear old granny to advertise her age, and then her address. I hope those to German shepherds are good watch dogs, ready to scare would-be burglars away.
I don't ever think I've seen waste divide a community as much as this one. ...Brings a whole new meaning to the term anal-retentive!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
REALITY CHECK!!!
More stories of paernts who ought not be... This one comes courtesy the Asheville (NC) Citizens-Times. a
Mother leaves kids sleeping in car to dance at club
by The Associated Press
MORGANTON, N.C. – A Morganton woman faces child abuse charges for leaving her sleeping boys in the car while she went dancing at a club, authorities said. Georgina Marquez, 37, was charged with two counts of misdemeanor child abuse after Hickory police officers found her 10- and 12-year-old sons in a car parked outside Fantacia's dance club in Hickory about 1:30 a.m. Sunday.
Officers discovered the boys while issuing parking tickets to cars illegally parked along the highway, said Hickory police Sgt. Scott Hildebrand.
A police report says the boys told authorities their mother left them in the car about 10:40 p.m. Saturday.
The boys were dressed in shorts and T-shirts while temperatures were in the low 50s, police said, and the heat was not on in the car.
Marquez said she checked on the sleeping boys every 30 minutes. (Oh, that makes it all OK, then!!) Hildebrand said the Department of Social Services was called before the children were released to Marquez, who was released on $2,000 bond.
What a pathetic slap on the wrist. I have no witty tag for this-- all I can do is shake my head.
Mother leaves kids sleeping in car to dance at club
by The Associated Press
MORGANTON, N.C. – A Morganton woman faces child abuse charges for leaving her sleeping boys in the car while she went dancing at a club, authorities said. Georgina Marquez, 37, was charged with two counts of misdemeanor child abuse after Hickory police officers found her 10- and 12-year-old sons in a car parked outside Fantacia's dance club in Hickory about 1:30 a.m. Sunday.
Officers discovered the boys while issuing parking tickets to cars illegally parked along the highway, said Hickory police Sgt. Scott Hildebrand.
A police report says the boys told authorities their mother left them in the car about 10:40 p.m. Saturday.
The boys were dressed in shorts and T-shirts while temperatures were in the low 50s, police said, and the heat was not on in the car.
Marquez said she checked on the sleeping boys every 30 minutes. (Oh, that makes it all OK, then!!) Hildebrand said the Department of Social Services was called before the children were released to Marquez, who was released on $2,000 bond.
What a pathetic slap on the wrist. I have no witty tag for this-- all I can do is shake my head.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Maintenance in need of maintenance
Last Monday, our housing manager/landlord "Doris" came to inspect our premises, as per HUD guidelines. In the course of her look-see, she told Mrs. I to watch the kitchen sink very carefully, because "We've had problems with the pipes before." Nice of you to tell us now, as opposed to when we moved in!
The fateful words rang true when our pipes started leaking-- no, pouring-- water yesterday. Upon a quick glance, it was clear almost every single O-ring (the rings which hold the pipes together) were loose, and one was completely detatched. We called maintenance and filed an emergency report. Within an hour, someone came, and rectified the situation. When I asked why every ring was loose, he shrugged, "Dunno. Must've been an oversight."
The entire kitchen was redone before we moved in: new fridge, sink, countertops, cabinets, tiling... How could you overlook tightening up the sink pipes?
Stupidity flare-up #1.
Today, my wife heard a knock on the door. It was a different maintenance man. "You have a problem with the kitchen sink, ma'am?"
You mean you didn't check the log from yesterday?
Stupidity flare-up #2.
After my wife explained that the repairs had already been made, she pointed out what the problem was. "Every single O-ring was loose, and one was completely removed." Their response: "Not sure how that happened. Something must've loosened them."
All of them???
Oh, yeah, I forgot I decided to loosen all the O-rings right after moving in...
Stupidity flare-up #3.
And these are the folks in charge of making sure everything in these apartments is ship-shape. Brilliant!!!
The fateful words rang true when our pipes started leaking-- no, pouring-- water yesterday. Upon a quick glance, it was clear almost every single O-ring (the rings which hold the pipes together) were loose, and one was completely detatched. We called maintenance and filed an emergency report. Within an hour, someone came, and rectified the situation. When I asked why every ring was loose, he shrugged, "Dunno. Must've been an oversight."
The entire kitchen was redone before we moved in: new fridge, sink, countertops, cabinets, tiling... How could you overlook tightening up the sink pipes?
Stupidity flare-up #1.
Today, my wife heard a knock on the door. It was a different maintenance man. "You have a problem with the kitchen sink, ma'am?"
You mean you didn't check the log from yesterday?
Stupidity flare-up #2.
After my wife explained that the repairs had already been made, she pointed out what the problem was. "Every single O-ring was loose, and one was completely removed." Their response: "Not sure how that happened. Something must've loosened them."
All of them???
Oh, yeah, I forgot I decided to loosen all the O-rings right after moving in...
Stupidity flare-up #3.
And these are the folks in charge of making sure everything in these apartments is ship-shape. Brilliant!!!
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Tracking in mud and stupidity
My family and I went to the library today. It was cold with scattered snow showers which wet the pavement and walkways. As we approached the front door, we noticed the sign the library personnel had posted: PLEASE WIPE FEET BEFORE ENTERING.
Um, on the sidewalk, since there's no mat out here? I'm sure that will help keep the library clean and pristine!!!
Um, on the sidewalk, since there's no mat out here? I'm sure that will help keep the library clean and pristine!!!
Friday, January 26, 2007
"HEADS UP!!!"
A small airplane flying overhead has just had a piece of its fuselage break loose. The fragmented mass comes hurtling down to earth, where you and a bunch of your friends are having a picnic. One person looks up, and inevitably yells those misguided words....
"HEADS UP!!!"
The natural inclination, when hearing that spoken, is to look up. However, rarely do you have the time. You're about to get bashed in the noggin, and you're expected to look up first, and then react? Shouldn't the appropriate warning be, "Take cover!" or "Duck!"
This is a question you can ask your neurosurgeon as you're recovering from severe head trauma in the ICU. ... If you can even remember what happened.
"HEADS UP!!!"
The natural inclination, when hearing that spoken, is to look up. However, rarely do you have the time. You're about to get bashed in the noggin, and you're expected to look up first, and then react? Shouldn't the appropriate warning be, "Take cover!" or "Duck!"
This is a question you can ask your neurosurgeon as you're recovering from severe head trauma in the ICU. ... If you can even remember what happened.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
(Lacking) Attention to detail
Each Monday, I make a beverage delivery to a small mom & pop grocery store. Every week, upon receipt of the product, the owner, Bruce, writes me a check for payment. ..For the last 9 months... Each and every Monday...
This past week, I entered Bruce's domain, and gave him the bill so he could write the check. When he returned, he asked me, "So. Where's the other guy?"
"The... other guy?" I hesitated.
"Yeah, the other guy," he emphasized. "The guy who usually delivers here."
Now, I know I did change my shirt since last week, but... I wonder if he's this attentive to his customers.
This past week, I entered Bruce's domain, and gave him the bill so he could write the check. When he returned, he asked me, "So. Where's the other guy?"
"The... other guy?" I hesitated.
"Yeah, the other guy," he emphasized. "The guy who usually delivers here."
Now, I know I did change my shirt since last week, but... I wonder if he's this attentive to his customers.
Monday, January 22, 2007
2nd today: Thanks for contributing. ...To the problem!
Background for this post: The Diocese of Scranton (PA) recently announced a plan to close many elementary-level parochial schools, and to consolidate all high schools into 1 in 2 different counties, accurately citing dwindling enrollment as well as a severe lack of funds coming into the Diocese through parishioners. This part of the country is heavily Catholic, and the outrage created by this difficult decision has been no small thing. But what to do now? Let's check in on Luzerne County to see how folks are handling the news, courtesy citizensvoice.com, the online paper from Wilkes-Barre, PA! (Bold type added for emphasis.)
Frustrated Parents Want Answers
BY ELIZABETH SKRAPITS, STAFF WRITER
PITTSTON TWP. --Supporters of Luzerne County's four Catholic high schools want specifics from the Diocese of Scranton about the consolidation, and they won't be quiet until they get them.
Frustration and anger permeated the Pittston Convention Center Sunday when approximately 300 people from Bishop Hafey, Seton Catholic, Bishop O'Reilly and Bishop Hoban high schools held their first joint meeting to work on strategies. These included withholding money from parish collection baskets, hosting an advertising campaign and protesting peacefully.
Parents are considering starting a private Catholic high school not affiliated with the diocese, similar to St. Rose Academy in Carbondale. Parishioners should also forego the bishop's annual appeal, said Bishop O'Reilly parents' spokesman Tom O'Connor, who chaired the meeting.
Seton parent Ron D'Eliseo distributed copies of a $1 million bill with Bishop Joseph Martino's face on it, to send to the diocese in lieu of cash.
"As far as I'm concerned, this is the only money he's (Martino) getting from me anymore," D'Eliseo said.
Great ideas all, morons with money! The diocese needs cash to fund parochial education, so let's withhold it, hurting the diocese even more for those wanting to send their kids to private Catholic schools.
Though I myself am not Catholic, my understanding is that it is NOT acceptable to question or belittle priests, bishops, and the like. Also, didn't Jesus Himself once say,"Rend to Caeser what is Caeser's, but rend to God that which is God's"? So I guess it's OK to prioritize my child's existence in his/her current, under-used school over the words of the One I claim to be a follower of?
You can keep your precious common cents, Mr. O'Connor and D'Eliseo. I'd rather you have common sense.
Frustrated Parents Want Answers
BY ELIZABETH SKRAPITS, STAFF WRITER
PITTSTON TWP. --Supporters of Luzerne County's four Catholic high schools want specifics from the Diocese of Scranton about the consolidation, and they won't be quiet until they get them.
Frustration and anger permeated the Pittston Convention Center Sunday when approximately 300 people from Bishop Hafey, Seton Catholic, Bishop O'Reilly and Bishop Hoban high schools held their first joint meeting to work on strategies. These included withholding money from parish collection baskets, hosting an advertising campaign and protesting peacefully.
Parents are considering starting a private Catholic high school not affiliated with the diocese, similar to St. Rose Academy in Carbondale. Parishioners should also forego the bishop's annual appeal, said Bishop O'Reilly parents' spokesman Tom O'Connor, who chaired the meeting.
Seton parent Ron D'Eliseo distributed copies of a $1 million bill with Bishop Joseph Martino's face on it, to send to the diocese in lieu of cash.
"As far as I'm concerned, this is the only money he's (Martino) getting from me anymore," D'Eliseo said.
Great ideas all, morons with money! The diocese needs cash to fund parochial education, so let's withhold it, hurting the diocese even more for those wanting to send their kids to private Catholic schools.
Though I myself am not Catholic, my understanding is that it is NOT acceptable to question or belittle priests, bishops, and the like. Also, didn't Jesus Himself once say,"Rend to Caeser what is Caeser's, but rend to God that which is God's"? So I guess it's OK to prioritize my child's existence in his/her current, under-used school over the words of the One I claim to be a follower of?
You can keep your precious common cents, Mr. O'Connor and D'Eliseo. I'd rather you have common sense.
Introducing "Magi-carpet!"
As I had previously disclosed, my family and I recently had to move due to the fact our back wall was bursting with toxic mold. Our new place is considerably smaller, and the living room in particular is a loss of 12 square feet from that of our old residence. Our landlord, "Doris"-- most unfortunately-- has remained unchanged.
Today, Doris came in for an inspection. She entered the living room, stared at the carpet and asked, "Is this the carpet you had in the old place?"
MRS. I: "Yes..."
D, puzzled: "How did you make it bigger?"
MRS. I, baffled: "What?"
D, reiterating: "How did you make the carpet bigger?"
MRS. I: "We didn't. Mr. I had to cut it down to make it fit in here."
D, confused: "Wait a minute. Isn't this place bigger than your last place?"
MRS. I, losing patience: "No, the other place was quite a bit larger. Mr. I cut the carpet so it would fit in this room."
D, clueless, and obviously featuring an enormously short attention span: "Right. So how'd you make the rug bigger?"
To quote a line from the hit TV show "Friends," "I need to buy a vowel, because O-MG!!!"
Today, Doris came in for an inspection. She entered the living room, stared at the carpet and asked, "Is this the carpet you had in the old place?"
MRS. I: "Yes..."
D, puzzled: "How did you make it bigger?"
MRS. I, baffled: "What?"
D, reiterating: "How did you make the carpet bigger?"
MRS. I: "We didn't. Mr. I had to cut it down to make it fit in here."
D, confused: "Wait a minute. Isn't this place bigger than your last place?"
MRS. I, losing patience: "No, the other place was quite a bit larger. Mr. I cut the carpet so it would fit in this room."
D, clueless, and obviously featuring an enormously short attention span: "Right. So how'd you make the rug bigger?"
To quote a line from the hit TV show "Friends," "I need to buy a vowel, because O-MG!!!"
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Critical mass
Another major television figure puts her mouth where it doesn't belong...
Rosie's Latest Target Is 'Intoxicated' Abdul
O'Donnell Leads Criticism Against 'Idol's Nasty Edge
By BUCK WOLF
ABCNews.com
Jan. 19 --Rosie O'Donnell is one of the 37 million TV viewers watching "American Idol," but don't count her among those who liked what they saw.
For the second day in a row, "The View" co-host suggested was drinking during the show and lashed out at the show for making fun of the people auditioning. O'Donnell and her co-hosts played a clip from Wednesday night's "Idol," in which a contestant, following an off-key audition, was roundly mocked and rejected by the judges.
"That's compassion for you," O'Donnell said. "Isn't that what America thinks is entertainment, to make fun of someone's physical appearance? And then, when they leave the room, laugh hysterically at them -- three millionaires, one probably intoxicated."
O'Donnell had joked about Abdul's demeanor a day earlier. "Paula was very thirsty last night," she said.
"That girl was sipping Coke every shot. And toward the end of the evening, one eye was wandering."
OK, O'D, who made you the moral compass of Hollywood? You, who has had a career full of relational gaffes and idiotic outbusts, dare to accuse Paula of being drunk, even though you have no proof?
You have no inkling as to what is and isn't musical excellence, but at least 2 of the 3 AI judges do. (Paula's questionable, but she's definitely more qualified than you are!) This is why you (currently) don't have your own TV show. You criticize how the show is handled, and judge TV viewers how intelligent they are? (Yeah, that'll win "the Phew" new fans!)
Yes, that IS what America thinks is entertainment, to the tune of a solid #1 in theNielsenn ratings. Also, "Odie" seems to forget that most people who audition know they aren't really Idol material, and are just looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Some use costumes and physical appearance as their gimmick or hook, and purposely subjugate themselves to ridicule.
Rosie was quite successful at 3 things: alienating the American public, making herself look like an egotist by tearing down another public figure, and proving that her failures at stand-up comedy and talk-show host were no flukes.
Additionally, O'D has earned herself a nomination for the "Just Shut Up" award at the STUPIES V awards presentations...
Rosie's Latest Target Is 'Intoxicated' Abdul
O'Donnell Leads Criticism Against 'Idol's Nasty Edge
By BUCK WOLF
ABCNews.com
Jan. 19 --Rosie O'Donnell is one of the 37 million TV viewers watching "American Idol," but don't count her among those who liked what they saw.
For the second day in a row, "The View" co-host suggested was drinking during the show and lashed out at the show for making fun of the people auditioning. O'Donnell and her co-hosts played a clip from Wednesday night's "Idol," in which a contestant, following an off-key audition, was roundly mocked and rejected by the judges.
"That's compassion for you," O'Donnell said. "Isn't that what America thinks is entertainment, to make fun of someone's physical appearance? And then, when they leave the room, laugh hysterically at them -- three millionaires, one probably intoxicated."
O'Donnell had joked about Abdul's demeanor a day earlier. "Paula was very thirsty last night," she said.
"That girl was sipping Coke every shot. And toward the end of the evening, one eye was wandering."
OK, O'D, who made you the moral compass of Hollywood? You, who has had a career full of relational gaffes and idiotic outbusts, dare to accuse Paula of being drunk, even though you have no proof?
You have no inkling as to what is and isn't musical excellence, but at least 2 of the 3 AI judges do. (Paula's questionable, but she's definitely more qualified than you are!) This is why you (currently) don't have your own TV show. You criticize how the show is handled, and judge TV viewers how intelligent they are? (Yeah, that'll win "the Phew" new fans!)
Yes, that IS what America thinks is entertainment, to the tune of a solid #1 in theNielsenn ratings. Also, "Odie" seems to forget that most people who audition know they aren't really Idol material, and are just looking for their 15 minutes of fame. Some use costumes and physical appearance as their gimmick or hook, and purposely subjugate themselves to ridicule.
Rosie was quite successful at 3 things: alienating the American public, making herself look like an egotist by tearing down another public figure, and proving that her failures at stand-up comedy and talk-show host were no flukes.
Additionally, O'D has earned herself a nomination for the "Just Shut Up" award at the STUPIES V awards presentations...
Friday, January 19, 2007
In the wrong place all the time
Along a straight 2-mile wooded stretch of US Route 11 in Northeastern PA, with a steep hill on one side and a river and guard rail on the other is the following sign:
WATCH FOR TURNS.
Ah, yes, my tax dollars used to place that sign were definitely worth it!
WATCH FOR TURNS.
Ah, yes, my tax dollars used to place that sign were definitely worth it!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
We regret to inform you your joke isn't funny
I entered a grocery store today and heard two employees conversing. One was telling the other a joke, which was worthy of being deemed a stupid thing said.
"A man walked into a fancy restaurant. The maitre'D asked, 'Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?' The man retorted, 'Why? Do I look like a (bleeping American) Indian?'"
"HA! HA! HA!"
[Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-nnng!]
"A man walked into a fancy restaurant. The maitre'D asked, 'Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?' The man retorted, 'Why? Do I look like a (bleeping American) Indian?'"
"HA! HA! HA!"
[Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-nnng!]
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Welcome to Wal-mart. How may I freak you out?
I know some people may accuse me of making this stuff up, but... Weird happens! You can't create fiction like this!!!
My family and I entered Wally's World one day last week. We were in the midst of our harried, sudden move from our old apartment, so we were tired, stressed, and irritated. As we went through the door, we spotted the "greeter." He's an old guy who talks to himself a lot, misdirects people who ask, "Where can I find such-and-such?" and hovers over folks trying to grab a shopping cart like they were stealing it...
I was holding my children's hands; my daughter on one side, my son on the other, attempting to give the Geezer Greeter a wide berth. However, he came wobbling up to me and pointed at the kids. "Hey! Hey! Excuse me sir! Are those a return?"
I stopped dead in my tracks and blurted, "WHAT???"
He repeated his daft inquiry. I was stunned. Was this crotchety Joe making a joke, or was he serious?
Attempting to read his face, I got no clear indication. I had no idea what to say, other than, "No. She belongs to me, and so does he."
Equally puzzled, the man bumbled, "Oh. OK. I just wanted to be sure."
Maybe what I should have said was, "Why, yes they are. I'm tired of them and want to trade them in for another pair. You got any kids left in the CHILDREN'S department???"
Beyond bizarre...
My family and I entered Wally's World one day last week. We were in the midst of our harried, sudden move from our old apartment, so we were tired, stressed, and irritated. As we went through the door, we spotted the "greeter." He's an old guy who talks to himself a lot, misdirects people who ask, "Where can I find such-and-such?" and hovers over folks trying to grab a shopping cart like they were stealing it...
I was holding my children's hands; my daughter on one side, my son on the other, attempting to give the Geezer Greeter a wide berth. However, he came wobbling up to me and pointed at the kids. "Hey! Hey! Excuse me sir! Are those a return?"
I stopped dead in my tracks and blurted, "WHAT???"
He repeated his daft inquiry. I was stunned. Was this crotchety Joe making a joke, or was he serious?
Attempting to read his face, I got no clear indication. I had no idea what to say, other than, "No. She belongs to me, and so does he."
Equally puzzled, the man bumbled, "Oh. OK. I just wanted to be sure."
Maybe what I should have said was, "Why, yes they are. I'm tired of them and want to trade them in for another pair. You got any kids left in the CHILDREN'S department???"
Beyond bizarre...
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