The Stupies IV

Thanks for joining us as we recap the best of the worst, via the fourth presentation of the STUPIES! Like we did 100 posts ago, we shall be awarding 3 distinct trophies of distinction to those who have displayed an exorbitant amount of stupidity.
First, the Ignernt Foo' STUPIE, honoring the memory of pop-star Michael Jackson, ("They're just a bunch of ignernt foo's...") is given to an individual who utters the most arrogant and heartless, uh, utterance. Though we had 3 nominees, including the "Man of peace" from 9/28 and the mobile home evictor from 7/27, the winner, hands down, was the pharmacy clerk from 9/15!
Today I went into a local CVS pharmacy, a large, franchised chain of stores. My business (soda delivery) brought me there, but it was an elderly customer which caught my eye and held my attention. She was continually pacing the aisles, looking confused. Finally, she approached the store clerk, and asked, "Excuse me, but where can I find ACE bandages?" Without batting an eye, the clerk shot, "In a hospital?!" ...and walked away...

Next, we present the Cloud of Idiot Gas STUPIE, honoring fellow blogger "Sierra" and the former blog site of the same name. The C.I.G. tags the figure within the public eye who suffers the most acute form of hoofus mouthus. Nominees included Sen. John Kerry ("Education") and Lindsey Wagner ("Getting a good night's sleep"). However, the STUPIE goes to the over-sexed and under-intelligent Brittany Spears!
Spears has offered some very not-so-profound insights into her pregnancy, motherhood and "getting her body back" in a recent People magazine interview. At eight months pregnant --she says she's due "in a month"-- the 24-year-old singer is about to become a mom for the second time in one year. And no, this pregnancy wasn't planned. "It just kind of happened," says Spears, who insists she and husband Kevin Federline, 28, don't know the baby's gender. ( Ah, yes, the Sperminator strikes again!!! "Just kind of happened?" You mean, like the other countless kiddies Kevin's contributed to the world?) With her upbeat outlook-- childbirth "will be a piece of cake," she says cheerfully of her scheduled C-section, the same as her first-- this is a more relaxed, less visibly stressed Brittney than the one who broke down in tears during a June interview with Matt Lauer. Of the media scrutiny following that appearance, she says, "They've said some hurtful things, but you just try to ignore it and keep moving on."(That's right, keep moving on by ignoring parenting skills and continually placing your career ahead of your family, dragging around your tired tikes like a wooden duck on a pull-string!) Now in the home stretch, she is relying on support from her husband (Pshaw! Good luck with that!)

Finally, we have come to the Incredulous Choice STUPIE, granted to the person of my own choice who best exemplifies a complete departure from the world of common sense and coherence. Betting her age is higher than her SAT score, the winner is the gal in the sandwich shop!
As I made a delivery to a small hoagie shop, I took notice of the owner, who was behind the counter, looking exasperated. Meanwhile, a middle-aged woman longingly studied the menu board. I got the idea that these two had been in the same position for quite some time. After a long pregnant pause, accompanied by much eye-rolling of the shopkeeper, the woman hemmed and hawed a bit, then vacantly quizzed, "OK, 'ham and cheese.' Now, what do you mean by that? I mean, what is it made up of?"

And so we come to the end of another STUPIES low-light reel. Keep on coming back for more regular fits of the insane and inane, and join us again in another 100 posts for the quinticentennial edition of the STUPIES!