As I had previously disclosed, my family and I recently had to move due to the fact our back wall was bursting with toxic mold. Our new place is considerably smaller, and the living room in particular is a loss of 12 square feet from that of our old residence. Our landlord, "Doris"-- most unfortunately-- has remained unchanged.
Today, Doris came in for an inspection. She entered the living room, stared at the carpet and asked, "Is this the carpet you had in the old place?"
MRS. I: "Yes..."
D, puzzled: "How did you make it bigger?"
MRS. I, baffled: "What?"
D, reiterating: "How did you make the carpet bigger?"
MRS. I: "We didn't. Mr. I had to cut it down to make it fit in here."
D, confused: "Wait a minute. Isn't this place bigger than your last place?"
MRS. I, losing patience: "No, the other place was quite a bit larger. Mr. I cut the carpet so it would fit in this room."
D, clueless, and obviously featuring an enormously short attention span: "Right. So how'd you make the rug bigger?"
To quote a line from the hit TV show "Friends," "I need to buy a vowel, because O-MG!!!"
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