Welcome to Wal-mart. How may I freak you out?

I know some people may accuse me of making this stuff up, but... Weird happens! You can't create fiction like this!!!
My family and I entered Wally's World one day last week. We were in the midst of our harried, sudden move from our old apartment, so we were tired, stressed, and irritated. As we went through the door, we spotted the "greeter." He's an old guy who talks to himself a lot, misdirects people who ask, "Where can I find such-and-such?" and hovers over folks trying to grab a shopping cart like they were stealing it...
I was holding my children's hands; my daughter on one side, my son on the other, attempting to give the Geezer Greeter a wide berth. However, he came wobbling up to me and pointed at the kids. "Hey! Hey! Excuse me sir! Are those a return?"
I stopped dead in my tracks and blurted, "WHAT???"
He repeated his daft inquiry. I was stunned. Was this crotchety Joe making a joke, or was he serious?
Attempting to read his face, I got no clear indication. I had no idea what to say, other than, "No. She belongs to me, and so does he."
Equally puzzled, the man bumbled, "Oh. OK. I just wanted to be sure."

Maybe what I should have said was, "Why, yes they are. I'm tired of them and want to trade them in for another pair. You got any kids left in the CHILDREN'S department???"

Beyond bizarre...