Columns like "Dear Abby" have always driven me crazy, and a letter printed in today's newspaper illustrates why. Here's excerpts from "Lindy" in Sacramento:
Dear Abby: "Danny" and I have been together six months. During the first six weeks I was studying in Europe, and when I got back we jumped straight into an intense, time-consuming relationship. Then he asked if he could move in with me. It was all too sudden for me, and I said I wasn't ready. Danny reacted by breaking up with me. Since then, our relationship has been rocky.
Wait a momentary moment! Didn't you just say he broke up with you??? DUH!
...Danny says that he loves me... I need to regain my balance before I can be in a relationship with him again.
Exsqueeze me, but didn't you begin this letter by saying you two have been together for six months?
I want to take a couple of steps back this summer, and... build a foundation. I know Danny is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I'm not ready for that kind of commitment now.
Um, could you BE any more contradicting?!
...Should I give up and walk away, or continue to try to rebuild our relationship?
Dear Lindy: Danny may say that he loves you, but if it is more than lip service, he should be willing to give you the space you need... What you're proposing is reasonable...
HUH??? Say WHAT now???
...and if he can't respect your feelings, you should, indeed, walk away.
What in blue blazes? Is it just me, or am I the only one who sees the OBVIOUS problem here? Lindy wants a boyfriend without the "work." She's continually sending mixed signals to this smothering dude, and then Abby just feeds her fire by pointing out how demanding Danny is???
Can you say, Co-dependent???
Here's my advice for the advice lady: stop screwing up people's lives with blind insight!
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