Stinking to high heaven

The city of Scranton, PA has been going through an identity crisis ever since the 1950s when the anthracite industry died off. Scranton has been trying to figure out how to re-invent herself from that day to this. Recently, the current moron-- I'm sorry, I meant mayor-- has been attempting to create the "Electric City" as a tourist destination. Good folks, I can tell you with full assuredness: T'ain't gonna happen! Anyhoo...
The most recent attempt to draw folks to the downtown (on life-support) region is by holding big parties on the roofs of the parking garages. (Ooh. Sounds like fun to me. Not!) The funniest part of this is that the city took out a full-page ad in the weekly entertainment paper. Now some of the benefits listed about this get-together are common sense, but others, well... You be the judge.
RAISING THE ROOF 2, Friday, October 13 at the Medallion Parking Garage. $20 Admission includes cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, live music, free parking.
...Same basic rooftop concept as our wildly successful (debatable) party on August 18, with a few minor adjustments...
1st- MORE ROOM! This party is moving to the top of the newer and larger Medallion Garage... Good idea. Take away much-needed parking spots from city employees so you can have a party!
2nd- MORE BARS! [blah, blah, blah.] Great. Load folks up and then take them to the top of a garage with a VERY short fence around the perimeter.
3rd- MORE PARKING! See analysis #1. Not only do workers lose spaces to the party itself, but also to the party-goers' vehicles.
4th- MORE FOOD! OK, makes sense. I'll leave this one be.
5th- MORE DRINKS! We're planning an Octoberfest theme, etc, etc, etc! See point #2! Gravity works!
6th- MORE RESTROOMS! This time we're calling in a crane to lift the Port o' Potties to the top floor.
Much to say here! First, nothing adds to the ambiance of a rooftop party full of drunks falling to their deaths than the putrid smell of Port-o-lavs. Second, not only will people have a hard time finding a spot to land their car for work, but they'll have a hard time just getting to their jobs because cranes will be blocking all the streets around the garage. Finally, the last time a crane was used downtown (remember folks, the city is built over several old abandoned mines) the sidewalk collapsed under the weight, causing the crane to crash into the building it was in front of, resulting in tons of damage to facility, walkways and machinery alike.

Yep, another brilliantly thought-out nightmare by Mr. Artsy-fartsy mayor! What's next, a public fundraiser, complete with celebrity emcee, generating money for the destruction of condemned, blighted buildings which fester on every corner of the town?