Sunday, November 20, 2005

Psycho calling on line 2; psycho on line 2!

Deep from within the chasms of our past comes a woman who used to go to the same church as us named "Gladys." Gladys is... er, um... not stable. Hasn't been for years, but the past two years, the senility rate has dramatically increased. The last bout of warped thinking came as she attempted to call my father-in-law, "Mark Sr," and instead called my brother-in-law, "Jr." Though this isn't word-for-word (since I haven't tapped any phone lines lately) I do get the gist of the call from Mark Sr...
G: Hello, Mark Shmoo, Sr.?
M: No, this is Mark Jr.
G: No, you mean Mark Sr.!
M: No, I'm Mark Jr. You have the wrong Mark.
G: No, no. You go to the prayer meeting. You sing on the worship team.
M: Right, that's Mark Sr., but I'm Jr.!
(Conversation #1 ends. However, like a Ginsu knife commercial, "But wait! There's more!")
(Phone rings.)
M: Hello?
G: Yes, Mark Shmoo Sr.?
M: No, this is Jr. Again. You keep calling the wrong Mark Shmoo!
G: But I know you! This is Gladys from the prayer meeting!
M: Sorry, you want to speak to my father. This is the wrong number.
G: Well, I have to call everyone in the prayer meeting to tell them they have the wrong number for you!
(Conversation #2 mercifully comes to a close. But since we're apparently gluttons for punishment, Gladys decides to continue pursuing this "matter"...)
(Phone rings again.)
M: Yes???
G: You are Mark Shmoo Sr.! I called before!
M: Look, I told you already, I'm not the right Mark! You want to speak to my father!
G: Well, what's his number? You give me his number?
M: It's in the directory. You can look it up there.
G: (After a brief pause) Oooooohh, wait! I know who you are!!! You're "Greg" Shmoo! You married "Brianna!!!"

BTW, I'm "Greg" and Mark Jr. really is married to Brianna.

I smell cranial smoke! Hmm.. Smells like burnt bacon.

2 comments:

Perpetual Chocoholic said...

lol! That's funny....although not to Mark Jr. at the time I am sure. Maybe people should have to have a "phone license" and pass a yearly test past a certain age to keep their privledges. I've had a few calls like this myself from well intentioned individuals who shouldn't be near a phone. I hope this woman doesn't drive. Now that would be scary!

Asaph's Table said...

No, she doesn't drive, thank the Lord!!!