The worst thing about Christmas is spending tons of time putting together all the kids' toys, but it becomes pure joy when it's time to pull out the instructions and read the latest "thoughts" from the masterminds at toy central...
"Non-rechargeable batteries are not to be recharged."
Oh, is that why they're called non-rechargeable??
"The supply terminals are not to be short-circuited."
Aaaw, why not?! I like getting electrical shocks!
"Never dispose of batteries in fire as this may cause them to explode."
Nah, what the heck? I like my chances. Oh, wait. Why do I have these toys so close to a fire?
Yes, the mensa club just called, but the only message they left was insatiable laughing.
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