As gasoline prices skyrocket, the media duly feeds the frenzy of P.O'd consumers by painting a distorted picture of greed-driven conspiracy theories and economic manipulation beyond global proportion. Looking for a fall guy, they center their attention on the evil mastermind of it all, US Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman. The press are the puppet masters which so keenly take the most minute detail and make it blow up in their victims' faces, portraying absolute, incomparable idiocy. With all that said, (and apologies for sounding so much like sierra from Cloud of Idiot Gas) I have to admit my funny bone is effectively stricken at times by the national news force... Enter Dr. Bodman, drawling on in a very monotone voice...
"If there was a magic wand I could wave to cause the prices of gas to go down, uh, there isn't one,...."
Memo to Dr. Bodman, from the linguistics department of every institution of higher learning in the Northern Hemisphere: When beginning a statement with the word "If," a "Then" must follow!
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