Somethin's goin' down!

...Chapter 572 from "the Annals of My Sojourns at a Major Telecommunications Company..."
As usual, after taking directory assistance calls for a couple of hours, my buddy Pat and I went into the break room to unwind and maybe catch up on some TV viewing. We sat on a couch at the back of the room, and Dee ("I burned my @$$!"-Getting to the seat of the problem) entered the scene, briefly sitting in a chair at a table directly in front of us. She was just getting ready to start her shift, and as she gathered her things to go into the office, a whole bunch of garbage fell out of her sweatshirt. We tried not to visibly chuckle as we viewed a Wendy's French fry box, tissues, a straw and a couple of other paper products crumpled up on the floor at Dee's feet. Dee became flustered and in mock amazement, asked, (with GREAT animation) "How did that happen? Where did those come from???"
I couldn't keep my big yap shut. "Um, they fell out of your shirt!"
She obviously couldn't believe that we had witnessed this strange event. "How did they get in there? How???"
We started laughing. It was just too funny. However, in an attempt to be polite, I got up from my comfy seat in an effort to pick the trash up.
Dee wouldn't have any of that. "No, no, that's OK. I guess I'm gonna have to go down for it."
This was the last thing spoken, but it wasn't the end of our bizarre experience.
Dee picked up the items, and left to dispose of them in a proper receptacle. I turned to see Pat laughing so hard that his face was literally candy-apple red.
It took a couple of minutes for Pat to catch his breath. "She just mooned me!" he choked.
"What?" I asked.
"She wasn't wearing any underpants!!! She bent down to pick up that stuff, and her #@&* was right in front of my face!!!"

My eyes!!! The burning! MY EYES!!!
Ah, yes. There's nothing like a large, unsanitary woman who stores crap in her shirt and goes commando to her phone job.