Wow. Somebody actually gets it!!!

I read the most incredible article today on AOL News, of all places. Please take the time to click on this link and read this story. It will either challenge your mind-set, verify it, or, in my case, both... Rev. Gregory Boyd, pastor of the (formerly) 5000-member Woodland Hills Baptist church in St. Paul, MN, preached a six-week sermon series caled "The Sword and the Cross," publically refuting popular Christian beliefs that the Church should endorse conservative Republican candidates and defend the Bush administration's stance on defending the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. As well, he speaks of the need for Chirstians to abstain from mixing faith with politics. As a result, 1000 members (20%) left the church and have not returned. I would like to congratulate Rev. Boyd and thank him for voicing what I've been thinking all along, though it cost him dearly-- both figuratively and literally. The church was in the midst of a $7 million fund-raising campaign when Boyd delivered the pulpit series, and only $4 million came in. Also, some in the Baptist Convention want to see Boyd defrocked for blasphemy. Some of his most poignant statements (copied directly from the article) are as follows:
“When the church wins the culture wars, it inevitably loses,” Mr. Boyd preached. “When it conquers the world, it becomes the world. When you put your trust in the sword, you lose the cross.”
...In his six sermons, Mr. Boyd laid out a broad argument that the role of Christians was not to seek “power over” others -- by controlling governments, passing legislation or fighting wars.
“...America wasn’t founded as a theocracy,” he said. “America was founded by people trying to escape theocracies. Never in history have we had a Christian theocracy where it wasn’t bloody and barbaric."
...He said Christians these days were constantly outraged about sex and perceived violations of their rights to display their faith in public. “Those are the two buttons to push if you want to get Christians to act,” he said. “And those are the two buttons Jesus never pushed.”
...Mr. Boyd now says of the upheaval: “I don’t regret any aspect of it at all. It was a defining moment for us. We let go of something we were never called to be. We just didn’t know the price we were going to pay for doing it.”
...One woman asked: “So why NOT us? If we contain the wisdom and grace and love and creativity of Jesus, why shouldn’t we be the ones involved in politics and setting laws?” Mr. Boyd responded: “I don’t think there’s a particular angle we have on society that others lack. All good, decent people want good and order and justice. Just don’t slap the label ‘Christian’ on it.”

OK, so where's the stupidity in all this, you may ask? Try this on for size:
Mary Van Sickle, the family pastor at Woodland Hills, said she lost 20 volunteers who had been the backbone of the church’s Sunday school. “They said, ‘You’re not doing what the church is supposed to be doing, which is supporting the Republican way,’ ” she said. “It was some of my best volunteers.” (Not what Van Sickle said; what the congregants said...)

So to close, kudos to Rev. Boyd for speaking his convictions, and best stupie wishes to the 1000 who left the church so they could hang on to their blind, narrow views without threat of being challenged.

Cash, a watch, guns, whatever. It's all good!

I guess some people aren't hard to please, and they don't believe in driving a hard bargain. A recent ad placed in our local classifieds proves that either this man was desperate to sell off his old car, or just eager to get a bunch of stuff!
'97 OLDSMOBILE 88, clean, runs exc., auto, AC. $2500, or will trade for guns, Rolex or riding tractor.
Now hold on just a minute, Cletus. Don't you think that maybe a couple of guns or a Rolex probably is worth a lot less than $2500? "Uh, yes officer, this is my John Deere! ...What do you mean, 'It's not street legal?' ...Well, yeah, that is a Remington rifle strapped on the back. ...But sir, I'm just taking my new wheels out on a hunting trip!"

"Redneck Motors. Make us an offer. Any offer."

The Plan: Too unrealistic, even in Utopia

So the Bush administration feels it's doing the world a favor by brokering a Plan (herein known as the Magna Crapa) to propose to the governments of Lebanon and Israel in the hopes of generating a cease-fire. The Magna Crapa calls for, among other things:
*Disarming Hezbollah.
*Creating and deploying an international UN peace-keeping force.
*Hezbollah releasing the 3 captive Israeli soldiers, which precipitated the hostilities.
*Israel permanently withdraws from a town along the Golan Heights that they have controlled since the 1967 War.
Several problems exist with this Plan, let alone it being completely unacceptable to either party. First, HELLO, Dubya! The war is NOT between Israel and Lebanon. The Lebanese government is not shooting missiles into Haifa!
Second, Um, if you want to broker a peace agreement, isn't a good idea to talk with both parties! Hezbollah is NOT the Lebanese government, and the Lebanese government is NOT Hezbollah. Capiche?
Third, yeah, like a terrorist organization, which is built upon a deep, lasting and vile hatred for "the Zionists" is going to disarm. Ri-i-i-i-ight...
Additionally, and most importantly, why are politicians wasting time writing things like the Magna Crapa, which have as much chance of success as a one-legged centipede winning a marathon? Meanwhile, dozens of innocent, and not-so-innocent, people are dying a brutal death, and the clean-shaven, unaffected kings of the Western world still wear their pin-striped suits with pride, claiming they're doing all they can for the betterment of humankind.

Do us all a favor, George. GET REAL.

2nd today: The man with the heart of cold. Ice cold.

Another sign that the world really has gone to hell in a hand-basket! Read this OUTRAGEOUS story: Mobile Home Park Residents Evicted.
How incredibly selfish and uncaring can you possibly be??? "The owner of the mobile home park said now that he's almost 70 years old he doesn't want to run the park so he gave his tenants 30 days to move out." Well now, aren't you just a regular hero? You seriously think that everybody can just up, find a new home, and move in 30 short days? You claim you want to "retire?" Fine. Do whatever. Just be freaking realistic!!!

Mr. Terrace Hill, congratulations. You've officially been nominated for the "Ignernt Foo'" STUPIE, to be awarded in just a few short months, which is an eternity longer than the time you gave to your tenants. You know, the folks who were counting on you-- WERE being the operative word here.

No, it's just you.

We've been mired in a heat wave the last 2 weeks here in PA, with high temperatures constantly hanging around 90. I've been waiting for the inevitable, and today, it finally happened!
While bringing sodas into a local store, a young lady entered, sweating, and muttered to nobody in particular, "Whew! Is it hot out there or is it just me?"

Gee, I don't know. Why don't you go down the street where the road crew has been out in the blistering sun all day, and ask them?

The Accidental Tourists

While preparing to make a soda delivery today at a convenient store just 500 feet off of Interstate 81, I was interrupted as I unloaded my truck by a middle-aged couple, waving frantically at me. They were strolling up to me from their SUV, which was packed to the hilt. "Excuse me," the gentleman quizzed, "Can you tell us the easiest way to get to Niagara Falls?"
I noticed his wife had a notebook and paper, so I responded, "Sure. First you want to go up I-81 to Binghamton--"
The man barged in, "OK, so 81 NORTH. That's up that way, isn't it?"
"Yes," I warily answered. "Once you get to Binghamton, follow Route 17 West. That'll take you past Elmira. Keep going until you reach I-390, and go up to Rochester. Exit at the sign for 90 West to Buffalo. Once you get to Buffalo, take I-290 North for about 10 miles, and then turn on to I-190 North. Once to cross the second big bridge, take the first exit, which is the Moses Parkway. After about 3 miles, you run right into the main parking lot." (I took the time to list the directions to prove how simple they are.)
Let the game of 20 questions begin!
She says, "What sights are there to see along the way?" He says, "What hotel should we stay at?" She asks, "So do we go through Syracuse?" He says, "So how much do tolls add up to?"
What, do I LOOK like AAA here???
After a ton of questions, I noticed she never wrote down the directions. She turns to him, "You know, I'll never remember these directions. I'm going inside to buy a map."
OK, I thought, no skin off of my nose; it's probably a good idea. I go back to unloading my truck, and she taps me on the shoulder (with map in hand) and says, "OK, now can you show me what roads we take?"
You mean to tell me, you pack up the car to take a trip, and you have NO CLUE how to get there, or where to stay, or what to do?

Yep. The accidental tourists. If they actually make it to their destination, it'll be an accident.

Holy greenbacks, Batman!

You know how you find a $1 bill every now and then that has something written on it, like www.wheresgeorge.com. OK, I can kind of make some sense out of that, or somebody (unwisely) scribbling their phone number or E-mail address on it, to see where their dollar goes... But some things just make me shake my head, wondering, "What was the guy who wrote this thinking?"
Yesterday, for example, as I collected money for my soda deliveries, I came across a bill that had marked on it, "Have a nice next trip, Jesus!"
What in the name of Alan Greenspan is with that??? My only 2 guesses were that the author was calling George Washington "Jesus," or he thinks Jesus needs money. ...No, that couldn't be right, because He once said, "Give to Caeser what belongs to Caeser..." Or maybe s/he was using currency to promote his/her apocalyptic viewpoints regarding the Second Coming...

Anybody else out there want to take a stab at this?

What, does nobody eat here???

Today, as I often do, I had to attempt to deliver sodas to a restaurant that my co-"worker" "Jake" failed to last week. (This is a regular occurrence. Jake either chooses to not make certain deliveries, or his brain short-fuses and he forgets to... Anyway...) The business was called "Tony's Family Restaurant." I arrived at 1:45, unloaded the cases off the truck, took notice of the hours of operation on the front door, which was 7 AM to 11 PM, and hauled in the order... And was greeted by, "What are you doing here?"
A bit dumbfounded, I responded, "Um, I have a delivery for you."
The owner said, "Why are you here today?"
"My other driver failed to make this stop last week, so I'm bringing it now," I explained.
The man shook his head emphatically. "You'll have to come back Wednesday. I have no money now!"

What??? You've been open for 6 1/2 hours, and you have nothing to show for it??? ...Come to think of it, there isn't anyone else here in this joint...

"Tony's Family Restaurant: Now serving meals 1 day per week (Wednesday.)"

A rupture in the space-time continuum?

I'm due to get a recertification for my PA Department of Transportation medical card. All commercial drivers must hold a valid DOT med card. To meet this need, I need to go to an outpatient facility for a full physical exam. My boss set up an appointment for me for 9:45 this morning. Now, I was on the road, making deliveries, so the plan was to make some stops, go to the appointment, and then complete my route. I called the medical office at 8:30 to confirm my appointment. The receptionist was puzzled. "Ohh... We have you penciled in for 8:35. Can you make it?"
"No, I'm 30 miles away," I protested.
"Umm, I see. ...Well, can you be here in 15 minutes?" Miss No-help quizzed.
I couldn't believe my ears. "No! I'm thirty miles away from you. How am I supposed to make it in 15 minutes?"
Now her tone changed. She tattled, "Well, we're going to have to change your appointment to tomorrow then."
"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "How did my appointment get changed from 9:45 to 8:35?"
"OH, I DUNNO!" she drawled.

You bet you dunno! You also don't understand the laws of physics. I'd either have to "beam" over to the office, or drive at least 120 MPH to get there! What do you think I'm driving, the space shuttle???

Who's the boss, part 2

I made a delivery to the same store I mentioned in my May 31 posting. The day had been tremendously hectic, and I took note of the invoice for this store that receiving hours were 9-11 AM or 1-3:30 PM. Since it was 3:05, and I still had 2 stops to go, I went out of my way to come here. As I started unloading the truck, the owner (of foreign heritage), who has well-established that he enjoys being a jerk, met me and said, "Why you here so late? I cannot take delivery now. Too late."
I had had a very hard day, and was in no mood to put up with shenanigans. "Excuse me???" I demanded. "What do you mean, 'too late?' It's 3:10!"
"Yes," he smirked, "We stop receiving at 2:00."
I wanted to kick his Eastern teeth in. "Look, it says here on the invoice, '9-11 or 1-3:30.' This is what I go by. If you're going to change the hours, you'll need to call the business office. I cover a lot of territory, and I'm not gonna bend over backwards for any one particular store."
The Jerk asked, "Where is that time on the invoice?" I pointed right to it, and said, "Right here." Suddenly, selective blindness struck the owner. "Where? Where? I don't see!"

Do you not see my finger pointing to the little numbers? ...Apparently not!

Hey, buddy, someone's on the phone for you. It's the Cranial Rectosis Hall of Fame! You're in!!!

Many words in edgewise

There's only one thing more annoying than a person having a loud conversation on the cell phone in a public place, and that's someone else who makes themselves part of the call.
As we work through the day, Pat and I often "Direct Connect" each other and gab, to help pass the time. (BTW, for those not in the know, direct connect is the walkie-talkie feature that comes on a lot of phones.) Last week, Pat contacted me as I was walking into a mom-and-pop grocery store. "Whassup?" I replied.
"Where are you at right now?" Pat asked.
No sooner had I pushed in the "Talk" button when a middle-aged, dirty, poorly-dressed woman blurted out, "This is Pine Brook Market!"
I gave her a look that said, "Thanks, but I was the one he asked." I went back to my conversation, and said, "Like you probably heard, Pine Brook."
Pat beeped back, "How many more stops you have left?"
"Only a couple," I informed him. "I'm going to the pizzeria up the road next."
The grating voice bellowed, "Which one? Antonio's??"
In calm frustration, I excused myself from the store to get the rest of the shipment. As I loaded up my cart, chatting with Pat, and sharing a head-shaking at the Human Ear, she happened to exit the shop, and walked up to me.
"Are you going to Antonio's? If you want to know where it is, it's 1 block up, after the curve, on the right side!"
I told her I knew where Antonio's was, and Pat's voice came over the phone, with a bit of a chuckle, "Who is that?"
I knew what was about to happen, so I just pushed the button and let her answer. "Oh, it's just me. I'm nobody!"

Maybe so, but it appears you'd really like to meet my friend! Where on earth did this lady get the idea we were talking to her?

Lost: Ski mountain. Reward if found.

Oh, the the thinks you can think, if only you try!
The Scranton Times-Tribune, again proving that people do indeed say stupid things, sent their roving photographer out to ask the populace their oh-so-eloquent opinions regarding various issues... This week's nugget to chew on: "Should Lackawanna County (PA) sell the Montage ski resort (located in Scranton)?" Those who answered in the affimative were actually quite normal and got their point across succinctly. However, those who say "Nay:"
"I think it's a bad idea because it's not going to be a part of Scranton."--Arthur Robinson, Scranton.
"I don't think so. It has been in this area a while. People like to ski here. But if it's better for the area by selling it, we should. As long as it stays in the area..." --Robert Smith, Scranton.
"It's part of Scranton. If they take that away, Scranton doesn't have that much value as far as enjoyment." --Raheem Campbell, Scranton.

Where in the name of Everest do you think this place is going??? Oh, wait, I understand. These dudes must have read the verse in Scripture where Jesus says, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Be removed," and it shall be [sold and] cast into the sea..."
And your town will suck to live in to boot.

Biased opinion? Sure, what the heck!

This past week, Hazleton (PA) mayor Lou Barletta (R) drew national attention to his little city of 23,000 by signing into law his own version of an Immigration Reform Act. Under his new guidelines, in an attempt to "take back the city from the hordes of illegal immigrants who are dominating the city with crime and a declining economy," any illegal found can be arrested and handed over to federal INS officials; all governmental documents will be printed in English, and English shall be the official language of the metropolis; and any landlord renting to illegals, or any employer hiring illegals shall be subject to fines and/or imprisonment. (The Constitutionality of this new law is now up for debate within Pennsylvania Superior Court.)
Following up on the hub-bub, the Scranton Times-Tribune newspaper decided to devote their daily "Roving Photographer" poll question to the topic. The photographer interviews 6 individuals and asks for their feedback to a specific inquiry, Saturday's being, "Should English be declared the official language of PA?"
Answers one man: "No. It should be English and Spanish. Since I moved here, I think it would be easier for the Spanish to get a job or a G.E.D." --Saint Alvarez, Scranton (PA).

First, Alvarez, huh? Gee, I wonder what his heritage is.
Second, "Since you moved here?" Uh, could I see your green card, please?
Third, Yeah, like you're all that, singlehandedly making it possible for Hispanics to get jobs and an education!

Another individual, Tim Roxby of Scranton, responded to the question: "Yes. I think it should be a federal law. It's the country, not just one spot. If we went to certain areas down in Mexico, they wouldn't be speaking English. And places like in Iraq."
...Huh??? ...DIZZYING logic there, Roxby!

War = insanity (A serious post...)

WARNING: This post contains my personal opinion on the Israel-Hezbollah conflict, which is likely to upset the conservative Christian right-wing. Please do not read if you are likely to be offended.
As I observe the horrific events taking place in the Middle East today, I cannot help but shake my head at how incredibly stubborn we as humans can be. The lyrics of an old Queensryche song come to mind... "Brother killing brother for the profit of another/ Game point, and nobody wins..."
It must be understood that the latest flare-up of violence is only the most recent chapter of a story of hate that began when Abraham had two sons, Isaac and Ishmael. Ishmael was born to Sarah's hand-maid, Hagar; while Isaac was the child of promise, according to the Bible. Hagar and Ishmael were intensely jealous of Isaac, and as a result, Abraham sent them away, where Ishmael became the father of the Arabic peoples. The hatred has not only remained, but intensified, especially since Israel became an independent nation in 1948. Israel has maintained its right to exist, while the Arabs have held its position on their desire to destroy Israel and make it a Palestinian state.
POINT #1: I believe Israel does have a right to be sovereign, and to defend herself when attacked. (Defend, NOT offend.)
POINT #2: I do NOT trust Israeli PM Ehud Olmert as far as I could throw him. (I was once very close to someone who has personal access to Olmert.) I believe he is resting his faith on his country's military might, as can be proven by his statements (when he was mayor of Jerusalem) that he would never concede 1 square inch of his beloved city to the Palestinians. He made several forceful boasts during his tenure in that post, and felt secure doing so, having the backing of people such as previous PM Ariel Sharon.
POINT #3: Hezbollah, Hamas and several other Arabic militant groups have a long history of provoking Israel to forceful actions, and had no right to kidnap and hold the two Israeli soldiers who were serving in non-active roles at the times of their capture.
All this said to address the Knesset's contention that Israel is merely carrying out her right to defend herself. By striking against the whole of Gaza AND Lebanon???
I could understand if the Israeli army carried out covert maneuvers to make precision strikes against terroristic positions, but to hold a whole country in fear is unacceptable. Though I myself am insignificant, I officially denounce Israel's attacks and state that I do not support their actions or their agenda. Israel has no right to kill Lebanese citizens who have no more to do with Hezbollah than I do. Israel and Lebanon, joined by the Arabic council, must cease hostilities and make attempts to see to the release of the soldiers (should they still be alive) through diplomatic means. God forbid, should that prove fruitless, more intelligent means need to be used to provide Israel with national security, break down the power of the terrorists and stabilize an already reeling region of the world.

Israel's stated defense of her war-mongering is definitely worthy proof of the statement, "People Say Stupid Things."

The check's (not) in the mail

Today I made a soda delivery to the most rural outpost I have. (The nearest town of any size-- tiny-- is a good 5 miles away!) Needless to say, being this far removed from civilization, the store owner is a bit detached from reality. The gulf between his brain and the world is widening week-by-week.
After dropping off the goods, he paid me with a check, as per usual. What was unusual, however, was his next question. "Do you have a check for me?"
I thought this was just a poor attempt at a lame joke, until I studied his face. He was dead serious. "Nnnnnoooooo...," I answered guardedly.
Puzzled, the owner jabbed, "I'm owed $93. I was told you'd have a check for me."
"No, sorry, I don't," I affirmed.
Not willing to give up, Mr. Woodsy stated, "I was told the girls in the business office were going to hand you a check to give to me."
My patience was wearing thin, but I politely voiced, "Sorry, but I don't see the girls in the morning. They don't come into the office until 8:00, and I'm always gone by 6:30."
Randy of the Redwoods either wasn't listening, or was ignoring me altogether. "Well, why would they tell me that they would hand the check personally to you??"
Enough was enough. "I don't know who told you what," I spoke firmly, "but I don't see anyone from the business office in the morning. If you'd like to call the office--"
Interrupting me, he interrogated, "Are you sure you don't have a check?"
WHAT???

No, that's right, I did have it, but I spent it at Kmart earlier this morning, stockpiling on Aleve! Hmm... My head's hurting now. A LOT. I think I'll go pop a few dozen.

Excu$e me!!! Time i$ money!

Today's post is sponsored by the Pennsylvania Lottery, facilitating compulsive gambling to benefit older Pennsylvanians everyday!
I went to a local convenient store today to make a soda delivery. When I brought my load into the store, there was a gentleman perched like a vulture at the counter near the lotto register. The store was being manned by one lady, who was all by herself. As she went to assist the man, the phone rang. She said, "Excuse me one moment," and answered the phone. The man impatiently glared at her. I dropped off my drinks in the back room and went back to the counter to receive payment, making sure I stepped back so that customers could be assisted first. No sooner had the clerk hung up the phone, when a young dude ran in and said, "I need a pack of (smokes,)" tossing the money on the counter. The clerk shot an apologetic look at Mr. Lotto Fever, not wanting to leave money--understandably-- lying on the counter. Then, as she tried to tell me, "I'll be with you in just a minute," the guy flipped out and snapped, "Look, I'm in a really big hurry, so could you please get my numbers for me!"
Miss Store clerk said, "Sir, I'm sorry about the wait. I'm here by myself." Unfortunately, sympathy was not to be had. "Whatever," the man ranted. "Now, are you gonna help me, or am I going to take my business elsewhere??"
In an attempt to keep her calm, I told the clerk, "It's OK. Go ahead; I'm in no rush." After all, Pushy was, right? Then this guy goes on to buy ticket after ticket after ticket. 10 minutes later, the transaction was complete. This guy must have spent at least $50 in lottery tickets! No "Thank You," no "Please," no nothing, except the greedy man snapping up his tickets and waddling out the door. (He wasn't heavy-set; he just waddled when he walked.)
I never thought belligerence could be any worse. Ah, but couple it with unbridled greed, and you have a new 3-headed monster!

All I can say is, thank God this dude ran out of money! Any more, and he'd own the lottery!

WIC: Wack-jobs, Idiots and Clods

We had our quarterly visit to the WIC office this afternoon for recertification of continued eligibility for benefits for our youngest child, age 2. Many years of personal experience have proven that most WIC employees aren't the swiftest of intellect. For example...
As per custom, WIC needs verification of family income, so it's always important to bring pay stubs from my job. However, this time, the receptionist just blandly barked at my wife, "Documents?"
"Documents?" Mish-mash quizzed. "What the heck are you asking for?"
"Did you bring pay stubs?" the gal condescendingly blurted.
"Yes," MMM replied, and handed them to her.
A pregnant pause filled the room as the WICcer handled, but did not unfold, the stub. With wonder, tempered with confusion, she voiced, "So what is your income?"

Nature-- and I, too-- abhors a vacuum!

Consumerism for the clueless

I recently had a roasted chicken dinner at a take-out place. As per custom, the dinner was accessorized by the infamous plastic bag filled with cheap utensils, napkin, salt and pepper packets, and the world-reknowned moist towellette. For some ridiculous reason, I happened to take notice of the towellette, and something written on the back caught my eye: "Directions for use."
Are you jerking my chain? You actually felt the need for printing directions for using your moist towellette? This fact, in and of itself, is completely insane, but it gets better when you read the 3-step directions. I hadn't previously comprehended that you could actually break down usage of a wet piece of paper into smaller increments!
"1) Tear open outer packaging."
Ohhhhh, is that how it works?! I thought I wasn't any cleaner!
"2) Unfold towellette."
Yeah, I guess that'd be more effective than this tiny 1" square would be!
"3) Use, wiping on hands and face."
...Does "use" actually count as a direction step? And who in their right mind would smear that thing over their face? Have you smelled a moist towellette lately? "Hey, what's that perfume you're wearing? Smells like lemon!" "Uh, it's actually 'Moist towellette!'"

If you can't figure out how to use this product without reading the directions, you don't DESERVE to have clean hands and face!

It's time to play... PASS THE BLAME!

I was making a delivery to "XYZ Pharmacy" today. This chain of drug stores receives and controls its inventory by scanning product UPCs into a scan-gun computer, which interfaces with the store computer, which hooks up with the corporate machine. When an item is scanned in as being received into store inventory, the cost is calculated to prevent overcharging or conflicts with vendor invoices.
All that said to prove a point: Big Brother does NOT come without flaws.
My delivery today was simply for 3 cases of 2-liter bottles of soda. The cost per case is $9.60, making the total on my load $28.80. Upon scanning in my stuff, the manager said, "Whoa. There's a discrepancy of over $5."
"On 3 cases?" I doubted. "Something must not have entered in correctly. Why don't you verify the products and costs?"
...Which she did. I watched the data on the scanner screen to see if there was a system error. ...And there was...
Yep, 7Up, 1 case, cost $9.60. Canada Dry, 1 case, $9.60. Root Beer, 1 case, $9.60. Scan total: $23.04???
OK, so the computer doesn't add correctly. But what was completely maddening was the attitude I got from the manager.
"There's something wrong on your invoice," she jabbed.
"No, there's not," I retorted. I watched the screen as you verified the items. $9.60 3 times equals $28.80, and the gun read $23.04."
She wouldn't give up her new math. "No, there HAS to be something wrong. We're getting overcharged by you."
I'm all for being patient, but not when dealing with blunt stupidity, haggling over 3 cases when I still have 17 more stops to make. "Look," I forcefully exclaimed, "Do you want to figure this out on a piece of paper? $9.60 times 3 is $28.80, NOT $23.04. Your system is screwed up. The error is in your system, not on our charges."
Not deterred, and clearly unwilling to be obviously corrected by some poor slob of a delivery dude, the store manager quipped, "Never mind. I'm just going to have to contact the district manager to tell them how you're overcharging us. Just put the product in the back."

*Voice of Lundberg from "Office Space"* ...Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...

I'm guessing that A) this gal's strong suit is not mathematics; B) this gal's strong suit is not business administration; C) this gal's strong suit is not people skills; D) this gal's strong suit is not taking responsibility for her mistakes; E) All of the above.

The British are coming! ...Is that good or bad?

Today's post comes from an article in the Saturday, July 1 edition of the Scranton (PA) Times-Tribune entitled "In History, Stupidity Still Reigns" by editor Ron Davis. These excerpts are typed verbatim as it appeared in the paper...
...Copy editor Ron Davis poses... questions to Alan Rogers, Ph.D., chairman of the history department at Boston College, where he teaches U.S. constitutional history and the American Revolution...
Q: What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked about American history? (Besides [this one,] of course.)
A: "What side were the Americans on in the Revolutionary War?"

...Well, now, isn't that revolutionary.

Live Brain Aid

My wife (mish-mash mousse) attended a Journey/Def Lepperd concert this past Friday. (...Primarily to see Journey, her favorite group; however, she stayed for both acts.) As Journey performed, my wife was very much enjoying the show, while most folks seated around her were obviously there to hear the 80's hair metal band from Britain. Right in the middle of Journey's "Faithfully," as 10,500 fans were on their feet, MMM felt a tap on her shoulder, startling her a bit. She turned around to see a woman mouthing words to her, with some dude who looks like "Milton" from the movie "Office Space" sitting next to her with a melancholy look. Due to the volume, my wife signaled to the woman that she hadn't heard what she said. The woman cupped her hands around her mouth, and yelled, "DO YOU HAVE A PEN???"
Flabbergasted, my wife answered, "NO!" and signed that she was not in possession of a purse or anything else.
The woman was unfazed. Pointing to Milton, she yelled, "His best friend is the lead singer!"

Yeah, judging by his enthused stance, it looked like it. My guess is that she felt she could get an autograph from Jouney front-man Steve Augeri, but the timing of her request was odd...

Later, as Def Leppard took the stage, between songs, fans cheered and excitedly talked. One listener, referring to DL's lead guitarist, Phil Collen, blathered, "I wonder if Phil Collins is going to sing tonight? He's got such a great voice!" Obviously, a case of mistaken identity, imagining Phil (note: spelling of name not even the same!) Collins from "Genesis."

Well, nobody said it was going to be a concert to benefit the local mensa club!!!

Welcome to the third pseudo-annual STUPIES awards!!!

(Music starts: the theme to the "Bugs Bunny Show" plays in the background behind thunderous applause...) ...And oh, what heights we'll hit / On with the show, this is it!!!
The STUPIES are back and they're better than ever! We're so glad to have you with us as we... er, celebrate... Certain people who have utilized their ridiculous... talent... of making us all thankful and appreciative that we are not as dumb as you!

The Ignernt Foo' STUPIE is awarded to the individual who displays the most appalling and irritating form of stupidity. This year, our winner has exemplified the greatest amount of "cranial rectosis" of anyone these past few months... With the following weblinks to prove his/her merit, you can definitely agree that this individual is most worthy to hold this wooden pedestal capped with fake doggie vomit high. The Ignernt Foo' STUPIE goes to.... "Anonymous!"
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/04/2nd-today-bizarre-bunny-makes-easter.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/04/confucius-say-duh.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/06/wow-justice-really-is-blind.html
The comments following each of these stories posted on "PSST" truly capture the pure ignorance of this rabble-rouser, making him an easy target-- I mean, choice as the recipient of this award...

The Cloud of Idiot Gas STUPIE is named to honor "Sierra," creator of the former blog with the same name. We very much miss his contributions to the Blogger community, and hope that someday in the future, he will find the time to make a much-desired return to the web-waves. This award "honors" the public figure who issues the most insane and incompetent statement or question in the presence of thousands of people. (Our first STUPIE winner, WNEP-16 weatherman Tom Clark, would fit into this category.) The Cloud of Idiot Gas STUPIE goes to... WNEP counterpart, reporter Bob Reynolds!
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/03/numbskull-newsmen-at-work.html
With his poor attempt to ask a rhetorical query, Bob shows how NOT to do investigative reporting!...

Lastly, the Incredulous Choice STUPIE is granted to the person who draws the most ire from me, Mr. Incredulous, for any type of expression of stupidity. The Incredulous Choice STUPIE is given to... Mr. I's former supervisor, Jan!
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/02/supplemental-to-anti-leadership.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/02/not-easily-confused-eh.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/03/non-listening-skills.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/03/2nd-today-follow-up-to-non-listening.html
http://twasthen1.blogspot.com/2006/03/fresh-brewed-stupidity-first-thing-in.html
Jan consistently showed poor leadership abilities and lack of proper analysis, driving me insane while I worked my butt off at the local uniform distibution center. Nothing takes the joy out of a job more than a terrible leader, as I can personally attest. For that reason, Jan was the obvious "man for the job" of receiving this STUPIE.

That concludes our show! Thanks for joining us for... the STUPIES! Come back and join us again in another 100 posts!!! I'm Mr. Incredulous, saying, "Tee-tee, ta-ta, and toodles!"

On second thought, please don't

My wife attended a Journey concert on Friday, and before the music began, she checked out the concession table. Surprisingly, Journey wasn't selling much merchandise. They did have a wide assortment of T-shirts, each of which was coded by a letter. For instance, if you wanted this shirt, it was identified by "I," or that one was "Q," or the white one over there was "F," and so on.
The only other product they carried was a pair of white lace boxer-style panties with the word "Journey" across the seat. The sign on the tent read, "Panties, $15. Ask for 'P.'"

Boy, somebody went through a lot of trouble to think that one up!